Guilt or Regret

We have all made mistakes. We have all done things worthy of forgiveness. Things we wish we could take back, handle differently, or simply erase from our history. The “big things” that fit those descriptions in my life, I really feel I have dealt with for the most part. I have asked forgiveness from people and from God, prayed and felt I had forgiven myself, and changed my future behavior so as not to make those same mistakes again. So why is it every once in a while this rock drops itself into the bottom of my stomach and I am right back to beating myself up about it again? Have I not forgiven myself? Is my faith so thin I feel that somehow God has not forgiven me? Do I feel the need to be a martyr? Am I feeling guilty all over again? I have always said guilt is a wasted emotion. It gets us nowhere—changes nothing. So what is my problem?

One little conversation with my dad about this topic lead me to a serious “ah ha” moment. He simply said “well, you have to recognize the difference between guilt and regret. If you cannot tell the difference then it is probably guilt.” Immediately it hit me – THAT’S IT! It is not that I still feel guilty. It’s not that I keep picking back up the cross I laid down and trying to carry it again myself. It is that I have grown, I have changed. As I look back to mistakes of the past, I regret that I behaved a certain way, or said something hurtful. Things I would not do at this point in my life. It is perfectly healthy to feel regret. In fact it’s good! It shows that I would not repeat it now! We have all heard the term forgive and forget, but who really forgets? Remembering and thinking “wow, how could I have ever done that?” shows growth. So my hope is that we can all recognize the difference between guilt and regret. And for those living with nagging guilt, I pray you can move forward to the place of peace and maybe simply regret. So when that rock drops itself in my stomach I can recognize that it just means I am still sorry about my bone head moves, but that’s it. One less chain that keeps me bound up inside.

Cheers to being freer today than we were yesterday and freer tomorrow than we were today.