If you are like me, at any given time in your life you tend to think "if only this ONE thing would be different my life would be so much better." Or maybe "if this ONE PERSON would get out of my life I would be happier/less stressed out." A boss that doesn't understand, a coworker who is always out to get you, there tends to be a challenging relationship (or 10) at any given time in our lives. We all know that there are growth opportunities for ourselves when it comes to our interaction with them, but we still lay our heads down at night and pray somehow the person relocates to China. The first person in my life I prayed would disappear was my older brother (sorry Ryan!). As a kid he pretty much made it his mission to make my life miserable. And he was sneaky too! He would use his newly-acquired ninjutsu skills right around my head and in my face the moment mom's back was turned. I'd go crying and tell on him and he would yell "I didn't touch her!" Well, he was right. He never actually touched me, grrrr! He knew how to push every button I had! I remember asking my mom if we could teach him a foreign language and enroll him in a foreign exchange student program. We had one from Finland at my school and she was there the whole year! Now THAT would be amazing. I prayed for that for quite some time :-)
I have grown up to love my brother and in fact, find him to be a pretty cool guy. But as a grown up sometimes my prayers are just a immature and ridiculous as the ones I prayer back then. "God please somehow pluck this one person out of my life. Thank you. Amen." Even though I learned early on we are supposed to thank God in all things, it still seems the thanks you's are on my lips, even in my head, but not so clear in my heart. Over and over I have read 1 Thessalonians 5:18: in everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Now this is a pretty elementary concept, but how many of us truly do this? For me, I have been not only learning to thank God for all things, but recognizing that He is the one who plants these people in our lives. On purpose. Can we first recognize His sovereignty and purpose for the relationship, then thank Him for it, and even grow to love that person?! Oh the growing pains! I am working on stretching those love muscles. How much flexibility does my love have? How far can it stretch? See, even God likes yoga!
I recently had that "one challenge" I was praying about daily. Not that it would disappear, but that I would learn to stretch and grow my love muscles, that I would develop more patience, and learn to see God in the face of my challenges. I almost feel guilty about how God answered my prayer. He completely removed the challenge from my life unexpectedly. Puzzled, I prayed..."God, what are You doing? I failed and failed and failed again!" The guilt came in when I thought about it....that was it. That was the last big challenge I was struggling with (at this moment). I really do have wonderful relationships in my life. I don't deserve such blessings in life when so many are facing so many tough challenges! Of course I can thank Him in all things when He has blessed me so! As I struggled with the duality of gratefulness and guilt God has spoken to my heart and made me feel so warm and loved. I still have plenty of struggles and challenges in life, but my heart is finally starting to change. The thankfulness is no longer just on my lips and in my head. It has grown in my heart. I am learning to trust him on a deeper level. One that surpasses stress and worry. Although I have not yet "arrived" because I know better than that, I am so grateful that God is becoming bigger in my life than my challenges. That faith is becoming an automatic response to a problem. With the many more challenges to come and the inevitable failures I will face, I know that God is continuing to work in me and that I will learn to stretch my love in new ways every day.
Titus 3:5
He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit
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