Then there is this side of my nature, this innate drive that God placed in my being when he made me. That fire in me that tells me "you have to keep going. you have to try harder. You have to improve. You have to do your best." I love to work hard, I love to be challenged, I don't like to procrastinate. I don't like to leave things undone. I don't ever want to be complacent in this life. Constantly learning, growing, and evolving into a better version of who I am is what makes me happy. So I struggle. I struggle with the balance of contentment versus complacency. Can I be happy with what I have while still wanting more? Can I be grateful for the many blessings God has provided yet still ask for more? Are my motivations pure? Are my desires in line with God's will? It is a constant stream of checks and balances and there are times it is very difficult to know what is God and what is my flesh. Especially when the busyness of life and motherhood has me distracted from the still small voice. How much of the desire to succeed is pride? How much is for recognition; a pat on the back? How much of forging ahead with my goals is for my glory and not His? For my goals and not His call upon my life? Am I pointing my heart toward Him at all times, in all things? Do I recognize the successes as His blessings and look for the underlying why? I know success is not for my glorification, nor do I want that. I have been given abilities, strengths, and gifts so that I can use them to glorify Him. In my youth I agonized over what my purpose in the world would be. How would I make a difference? What great things would I achieve? I struggled as the years went on and the answers didn't become more clear - and even more when I wasn't moving mountains in this life. I am beginning to realize it doesn't matter which path I am on, how great or small my reach is, or how many people recognize what I am doing. What matters is who I become along the way, and who I bless on the journey. Did I stop and give a helping hand? Did I become sensitive enough to God's voice to hear when He whispered the perfect words to say to the person who needed to hear them? Or was I too busy chasing the hollow dream that is filled with cacophony and material things?
According to dictionary.com the definition of content is to be in a state of peaceful happiness. Contentment is a state of happiness and satisfaction. The three common themes here are satisfaction, peace, and happiness.
Complacency is a feeling of smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or ones achievements. Or a feeling of quiet pleasure or security of some potential danger, defect, or the like. The common idea here is smugness and excessive pride.
Complacent people neglect their duties and are unconcerned about things that should concern them. They have the attitude "I have arrived".
To me, being content means knowing who I am - goal oriented, committed to learning and self improvement, but also learning to better enjoy my journey . Focusing too much on the end goal or destination takes away from the process. And life is mostly lived in the process. To be content I cannot be happy based on my conditions, but choose to be happy in spite of my conditions.
Happy and content are not one in the same. Deep down I am happy but I am not always content. When I allow myself to be unsatisfied with what I have I lose my contentment. When I compare myself and my things to others I lose my contentment. As Mahatma Ghandi said, "Man falls from the pursuit of the ideal of plan living and high thinking the moment he wants to multiply his daily wants. Man's happiness really lies in contentment." We must stop acquiring and start enjoying.
So I ask myself, can I be both driven and content? What I have come to realize is being content is not simply accepting the cards you are dealt - its appreciating what you have while you strive to improve. There is never a perfect balance, but a swinging pendulum between the two. The median should be contentment. Some scriptures that have helped me are:
Luke 12:15: Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.”
1 Timothy 6:6-7: Then he said to them, “But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it."
Philippians 4:12-13: I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Matthew 6:25-26: Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Philippians 2:3: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.
2 Corinthians 5:9 So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.
Let us be ambitious so that we are acceptable to Christ not the world and seek first His kingdom.....