Messy life

First of all I want to thank all of you for reading my blog and for the support and kind words from those of you who have reached out to me. I am very much enjoying doing this and pray God continues to provide me with meaningful content and the ability to express what is in my heart so that others can connect and relate. And maybe even help someone else see a different angle in a situation they are dealing with in their own life. I sometimes put this pressure on myself to have some words of wisdom or an outlook at the end of an experience that reflects God's working in my life. At this moment I can't say that I have any words of wisdom. I do not have an experience to share that I was able to come through on the other side and reflect upon my personal growth. Reason being: I am currently in the thick of so many things God is walking me through. I am not yet sure exactly what it is He is showing me and how it will all change me. What I do know is that it will. It is. And he is in control of it all and is working it all out for good.

What makes a really great blog is that it is open and real. Some things I am going through are so deeply personal that my still amateur-blogging-status is not sure how to approach it. I hope you will stick with me in spite of my short comings! First off, recently I have been brought to that place in life where faith is quite literally the only thing I have to hold on to. And thank goodness I have that! I trust His plan, I trust that everything happens for a reason and although I may not understand what that is, my faith and trust is in Him completely. I will share the full story in the weeks to come, but know that if you are also dealing with a situation that is so totally out of your hands all you can do is pray--you are not alone!

Second, my patience has been pushed to its absolute limits and I must admit, it needs some work! I mean, sure as a mom of a toddler my patience is tested daily! But I am talking about the kind of patience it takes when you know HUGE, life-altering changes are just around the corner and as hard as you pray for the answers, God's answer is "just wait." So I thank Him for these trials that force growth and maturity. The "but I want it NOW" attitude has certainly grown to "any day now Lord....whenever You are ready of course" ;-) I am happy that I have peace in my heart about it and I do not doubt for a moment that the changes will reflect the will of God. It is the waiting that gets me!

And finally, the third big one I am in the thick of is the growing pains that come along with stretching those love muscles again. As it says in Luke:

 ³² “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. ³³ And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that."

It is easy to do in theory, but in real life, things can get hairy. I have found that approaching relationships with others with a spirit of humility is helping smooth out what could be a very bumpy road. Pride and self-righteousness get us no where when dealing with others. Regardless of the attitude coming from the other side, I have an opportunity to demonstrate a Christian response and I am happy for that opportunity. To whom much is given much is required and I have certainly been given A LOT in my life. Through it all I am leaning on Him more than ever and I am grateful that I am not in control of all of this for it would certainly be one giant disaster!